


at her wit's end

by tatemarkhams



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alya knows, And she's tired of everyone's shit, F/M, Idiots who can't take a hint, Roadtrip Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 02:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10376028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatemarkhams/pseuds/tatemarkhams
Summary: “They have toknow.I would sooner lock them up in a room and send an akuma right there than let this trip end without them discovering the truth.” Alya stomped her feet, the fire in her eyes downright terrifying.“You know I’m usually with you,” Nino started, no doubt in his mind that Alya wasn’t making empty threats with what she just said. “But I don’t really think that’s a good idea. Promise me you won’t do that.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [overworkedunderwhelmed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/overworkedunderwhelmed/gifts).



> AAAAHHH so i may have taken quite a few liberties with how Alya finds out and indulged myself by turning it into a roadtrip fic....i hope that's okay?
> 
> ANYWAY I SCREAMED WHEN I GOT THIS PROMPT BECAUSE HOLY SHIT I LOVE DJWIFI OF COURSE I'M GONNA DO IT SO HERE WE GO

She had gone insane. That was the only explanation.

 

Under the strain of their last year in lycée, graduation looming in the distance, university applications, keeping her blog up to date -- her brain had finally started to disassociate from reality and was now beginning to form hallucinations.

 

Because there was no other way to explain the fact that the tiny black cat plushie in Marinette’s bag suddenly started talking to her.

 

“Hello, Lady? Are you still there?” The floating black cat waved its tail in Alya’s face.

 

“ _Oh my God. Demon._ ” Alya gasped, petrified in the driver’s seat as she stared at the tiny devil incarnate.

 

She couldn’t remember doing anything that would prompt demons to appear out of nowhere – no human sacrifices, or summoning circles. All she was doing was waiting for Marinette and Adrien to drag Nino out of his house while she parked the car. And it was then that she remembered to check Marinette’s bag for anything she might have forgotten – a long standing part of their routine whenever they went away for a trip.

 

And the next thing she knew, there was _this._

 

“Rude!” The talking plushie squawked, flipping its ears at her, which Alya assumed was the equivalent of flipping her off. “I’ll have you know that I am a god of destruction, kwami of Chat Noir. I’m much more stylish than those puny demons.”

 

She had so many questions. “Kwami? What’s a – wait a second, _you belong to Chat Noir?_ ”

 

“Plagg! We’re not supposed to tell her that!” Another voice added – the one red one, the polka-dotted miniature doll that Marinette always carried with her.

 

All the while, Alya was contemplating the soonest time she could possibly see a therapist.

 

“Don’t you you see, Tikki? This girl could help us end this.” The black thing who was apparently called Plagg said.

 

Under her breath, Alya began muttering to herself. “This is it. I’ve officially gone mad.”

 

“Alya, you’re not insane.” The red bug thing – Tikki -- said to her gently before turning away to chastise her friend. “And Plagg! You know we’re not supposed to meddle. And we certainly cannot involve Alya in this!”

 

“How do you know my name?” Her finger reached out to poke the tiny creatures experimentally. “And what are you exactly? What’s a _komi_?”

 

“ _Kwami._ ” Plagg corrected, brushing her finger off of him. “Basically, we’re the reason Ladybug and Chat Noir can do what they do. Their powers come from us.”

 

“Plagg, stop telling her things! I still haven’t agreed to this.” Tikki interrupted. “This would cause a lot of complications.”

 

“Even more complicated than the situation we’re already in? Tikki, I am so tired of always having to hide because our chosens are both too idiotic to figure things out for themselves.”

 

“Still…” Tikki trailed off, sparing a hesitant glance in Alya’s direction.

 

“So…” Alya cleared her throat, looking at Plagg with mild shock on her face. “You belong to Chat Noir.” Taking a deep breath, she turned to Tikki. “And I’m guessing you’re supposed to be Ladybug’s?”

 

“Bingo! See? Maybe you’re not as stupid as our chosens after all.”

 

Alya chose to ignore that comment, focusing on the single fact that still didn’t make sense to her. “But I thought you were Marinette’s?”

 

Tikki smiled at her wryly. “ _I am._ ”

 

It didn’t take much for Alya to connect the dots from there and when she did, she was only thankful that she was safely tucked in the driver’s seat of a parked car. Otherwise, she would have collapsed to the pavement with all her limbs feeling like jelly.

 

“Are you saying – there is _no way_. I would know.” The two kwami before her shared a knowing look. “Oh my god. It’s true. I’m best friends with Ladybug! Holy shit! I can’t believe this.”

 

Plagg snickered, voice dropping to a stage-whisper. “If this is how she reacts to it, just wait ‘til my boy finds out. Adrien is gonna lose his mind.”

 

“Adrien? What does Adrien have to do with this?”

 

“I think I’m gonna let you figure that one out on your own.”

 

“Chat Noir’s kwami…” Alya began, trying to process so much information being dumped on her in such a short period of time. “Oh, _you have got to be kidding me._ Those two oblivious idiots!”

 

The facts were slowly coming to Alya one by one, and with that, the full picture of the status quo. _Adrien was Chat Noir. And Marinette was Ladybug. And neither of them knew each other behind the masks._

_Oh, and they were totally, unknowingly in love with each other._

 

“Exactly! Now you see why we need your help.”

 

“Ignore him, Alya.” Tikki chimed in. “You don’t have to get involved in this. We can just forget this ever happened.”

 

Five minutes ago Alya would have given anything to be away from talking plushies and their questionable magic. But the initial shock had worn off, and the feeling of insanity had been replaced with frustration and the need to take Adrien and Marinette by the ear and scream the truth at them as loud as she can.

 

“And let two of my best friends live out the rest of their lives in this confusing crisis? _Nuh-uh_.”

 

“It won’t be forever. They will reveal themselves… someday.”

 

“When, Tikki?” Plag cried out dramatically, holding on to Tikki’s shoulders and shaking her. “With the way things are going, we’d be waiting another century before they work it out on their own.”

 

“We’re not allowed to interfere, Plagg. We’re bound by magic.” Tikki defended, although Alya can tell that her resolve was weakening.

 

“ _We_ are. But this girl isn’t.”

 

“Yes, Tikki. Let me help. These are my friends and I can’t just do nothing.” Alya said, giving Tikki her best puppy eyes. “ _Please_.”

 

“Did you learn that from Marinette?” Tikki sighed, and both Alya and Plagg knew that they had pretty much won at this point. “Okay. Fine. But there has to be some rules.”

 

She pushed up her sleeves, like she was preparing for a brawl as she leaned over the console. “Alright. What do you need me to do?”

 

* * *

 

 

Alya heard the sound of Marinette laughing before she looked up and saw her friends through the rearview mirror. Nino was lugging three bags behind him while glaring at the other two beside him who kept trying to help him only to have their hands slapped away.

 

“We’ll leave it you, Alya!” Tikki quickly bid her goodbye before taking Plagg with her and disappearing to Marinette’s bag once again.

 

The car door opened just as the kwamis were out of sight, revealing a bright-faced Marinette. “Guess who tried to pack their entire house for a week-long trip?”

 

“It’s hard to decide what to bring and what not to bring, okay?” Nino popped up beside her, throwing one bag after another into the backseat.

 

“You know I would have thought Adrien would be the one with a dozen bags on a trip but clearly, I’m wrong.” Marinette snickered as a loud clanging sound came when two of Nino’s bags collided.

 

Adrien scoffed. “ _Please_. Between years and years of trips in and out of Europe, I’ve already mastered the art of packing light.” He turned to Nino. “I know for a fact that you are not going to need that frying pan you brought.”

 

“Tell that to Rapunzel.” Nino threw his hands up in the air in surrender. “Make fun of me all you like but don’t come crying to me when you run out of tampons and I’m the only one left who has them.”

 

“Thanks but I think I have Alya for that, right?” Marinette looked at her expectantly. “Alya?”

 

_This girl was Ladybug. Talking to her. Ladybug was asking her for tampons._

 

“Yeah?” Alya croaked.

 

“Something wrong? You’ve been awfully quiet.” Adrien asked.

 

_And now Chat Noir._

 

“I’m good. _Good_.” She said, leaning over to open the door to the passenger seat. “Just get in the car, you three. We have a schedule to follow and a lot of things to do.” Sneaking a look at Marinette and Adrien, she whispered to herself. “ _Especially with you two_.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Okay, next round. Wall clock, rollerblades, shaving cream.” Adrien listed off, looking up after going through the last of Nino’s bags. “Which one did I make up?”

 

“This is a tough one,” Marinette gave it a thought, fingers drumming on the dashboard. “I’m going with rollerblades. Who even has rollerblades anymore?”

 

“Bzzzt!” Mimicking the sound of a buzzer, Adrien lifted Nino’s pair of rollerblades for everyone to see. “The correct answer is shaving cream. Seriously, Nino, you bring all this and forget to pack shaving cream?”

 

“I didn’t forget.” Nino pouted, snatching his shoes out of Adrien’s hands. “I didn’t think it was _necessary_ when you already have shit ton of products with you. Plus there are convenience stores on every corner for that.”

 

“But you thought it was _necessary_ to bring a wall clock.”

 

“If you guys are planning to harass me all week long, just stop the car so I can start walking back to Paris.” Nino said, zipping up his bag and crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“Nope. No stopping until we get to Rouen.” Alya called out without taking her eyes off the road. “You’re welcome to jump out the window anytime though.”

 

“So considerate.” Leaning forward between their seats, Nino mockingly cooed as he pinched Alya’s cheeks. “Aren’t you charming?”

 

“Hey! No touching, I’m driving!” Alya slapped his hand, taking a second to glare at him.

 

Marinette gasped, sitting up straight and rolling the windows down to point at something in the distance. “Oh, look at the trees! They’re _gorgeous._ ” She breathed in awe. “Can we go have a look? Just a quick stop?”

 

Alya turned to Marinette with full intention to say _no_ and stick to their schedule. Until she saw her pleading with her eyes were shining so bright that Alya swears she knew just how powerful that look was. “I guess a few minutes wouldn’t hurt.”

                                                           

While Marinette did her wiggle and dance in her seat, Nino was staring at Alya in astonishment as Adrien patted his head in consolation. “What?! How come you make stops for her but not for me? I’m sensing favoritism here.”

 

“Marinette’s always been my favorite.” Alya grinned, not even looking at Nino as she pulled over. “And maybe I’ll listen to you when you have pretty blue eyes like that.”

 

* * *

 

 

“I think these are Almond Trees.” Adrien said, picking up one of the pink flowers from the ground for closer inspection. “They’re always the first to bloom during springtime.” He added, reminding Alya that Adrien Agreste was an actual walking encyclopedia.

 

“Man, I knew almonds tasted good I didn’t know they looked this good too.” Nino said, already snapping a few shots with his camera.

 

“To think that you were complaining about making a stop here.” Alya snickered, poking his sides as they watched their friends walk ahead of them, playing with the petals on their feet.

 

“I just like messing with you.” Nino elbowed her back, and Alya had pretend she didn’t feel heat flooding her stomach at the simplest of touches. “Turn around, you two. I wanna get some good shots of you looking at the camera.”

 

Adrien and Marinette looked over their shoulders, seemingly interrupted in the middle of a conversation they were having. With that perfect model smile on his face, Adrien put both hands on Marinette’s shoulders to show her off to the photographer.

 

“Take pictures of Marinette. She looks perfect surrounded by the trees in her dress.” Adrien said, slowly moving out of the frame.

 

It reminded Alya of a time three years ago when Adrien calling Marinette perfect would have floored her, but now her best friend only took it in stride, smiling at Adrien as the color in cheeks matched the bloom of the trees.

 

“Yeah, Marinette, spin for us!” Alya shouted, making a twirling motion with her fingers.

 

Just to indulge them, Marinette twirled once, the wind billowing in her dress as the flowers danced at her feet. And Alya was pretty sure that all of them there were in agreement that her best friend closely resembled a faerie of the forest.

 

“Yes, that looks great! Keep doing that.” Nino encouraged, holding up a thumbs up sign with his free hand while the other kept clicking the camera button.

 

“Oh, come on. This is no fun alone.” Marinette declared, walking over the clearing to Adrien who was leaning on one of the trees while he watched her. “Get over here Mr. Model and do your thing.”

 

Adrien laughed, allowing himself to be dragged back to the view of the lens by Marinette. “Alright, if you guys really find me that irresistible.”

 

He shrugged of his jacket, draping it over his over his shoulder as he flexed his arms and gave the camera a look that was way too exaggerated to be sexy. Marinette only snorted, crossing her arms over chest as she tried to look unimpressed. Though Alya could tell by the smile she was trying to suppress that Adrien’s pose was working on her.

 

_Dorks._

 

Chortling behind the camera, Nino kept giving Adrien and Marinette instructions for poses that were becoming more and more ludicrous as they went. “Dude, wait ‘til I send all of this to your father.”

 

Alya felt a sudden rush of déjà vu as she watched the scene play out before her. It was something she had seen, something she had experienced first-hand so many times in the past.

 

Asking Ladybug and Chat Noir for a photo to put up on her blog, Chat making wild and extravagant stances for the pictures while Ladybug stood by and watched him with a strange combination fondness and exasperation on her face.

 

 _Wait for the opportunity to arise,_ Tikki had told her.

 

She didn’t realize there was a lens pointed at her face until she heard the click of a photo being taken and Nino was giving her a toothy grin. “Nice. Lost in thought. Looking very soulful.”

 

Alya glared at him, pushing the camera away from her. “That wasn’t for you to take a picture of. Go back to shooting the idiots.”

 

“She’s right. We’re working very hard on our poses. Give us the attention we deserve.” Marinette yelled, and Alya didn’t realize when but at some point Adrien had ended up carrying her on a piggyback ride.

 

_Here’s my opportunity._

 

“Hey, how about you guys do a fist bump?” Alya suggested. “Like Ladybug and Chat Noir do after a fight?”

 

Nino nodded enthusiastically, obviously enamored with the idea. “Oh yeah, that’d be _so_ _cool_. Give me your best Ladybug and Chat Noir impressions.”

 

Alya watched Adrien and Marinette go completely still, both of them tense as nervous laughter escaped their lips. She couldn’t understand how these two friends of hers, who were so very transparent and weren’t sure where to look upon the suggestion of impersonating their superhero selves, could have managed to keep their identities secret for as long as they have.

 

“Impression…yeah, of course.” Adrien cleared his throat, crouching to help Marinette get off his back. “We can do that.”

 

As her feet found the ground again, Marinette held out his fist to Adrien hesitantly. “So…”

 

“No, wait,” Alya interrupted, enjoying the power that came with _knowing_. “Say their catchphrase.”

 

She could have sworn she heard Marinette squeak. “I’m not sure I remember…”

 

“It’s _Bien Jouie,_ isn’t it?” Nino wondered out loud, looking to Alya for confirmation which she gave with an eager nod.

 

“Right. Um, thanks Nino.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, extending his fist to Marinette. “Here we go.”

 

“ _Bien Jouie_.” They bumped their fists and said at the same time, with voices surprisingly loud and clear, like they were always meant to deliver the words with vigor and the adrenaline that came after a battle. It was a sight to behold, in a way.

 

The encounter shocked them both, it seemed, as Adrien and Marinette watched each wordlessly with wide eyes. Several heartbeats passed before Marinette broke the tension by dropping to a bow, much like the way Chat Noir does it. “Amazing job, My Lady.”

 

Enthralled by Marinette doing an impression of his feline alter-ego, Adrien chuckled and tapped his finger against her nose. “Not bad yourself, kitty.”

 

“Got it. That was incredible, guys. ” Nino said, admiring his shots with a big smile on his face. “You make a good Ladybug and Chat Noir.”

 

 _Of course they do,_ Alya thought, unwilling to count this as a victory despite the outcome. _Of course they do._

 

* * *

 

 

“I hate Adrien.” Alya scowled as they picked their way through the crowd in between ratty tents and the smell of sweat.

 

“Come on, it’s not so bad.” Marinette said from in front of her, dragging her along and accidentally knocking over an antique lamp in the process. Alya caught it just in time, her reflexes honed from being around Marinette for years now. “Thanks.” Marinette grinned at Alya apologetically, then at the stall owner who just rolled her eyes at them.

 

Taking the lead before they had to pay for anymore damages, Alya grabbed Marinette’s hand and waded through the thick volume of people, wondering just how this girl could be the same heroine who did mid-air flips across Paris regularly.

 

In the distance she identified the bright red color of Nino’s cap and caught sight of the boys nodding in awe to whatever the vendor before them was saying. No doubt believing every word of a story made up to advertise whatever knick-knacks were for sale.

 

“There they are.” Alya breathed a sigh of relief as she moved towards them. “Could have picked Loire Valley, Cote d’Azur, or even La Croisette if he really wanted to go shopping! Literally anywhere in France and he chooses some flea market in Rouen.”

 

“At least he looks happy, doesn’t he?” Marinette said hopefully, seeing Adrien smile excitedly as he held what appeared to be a gold chalice in his hands.

 

Alya looked unconvinced “Girl, you would crawl through a rat sewer if Adrien said he thought it might be fun.”

 

“No, I wouldn’t.” Marinette was affronted, until Alya gave her a dubious look reminding her that she’d done worse in the past. “I mean, I don’t know, maybe? Let’s not talk about it.”

 

“Not talk about what?” Nino asked, replacing the conch shell on the display when he noticed Alya and Marinette approaching.

 

“Marinette wants to crawl through a rat sewer.” Alya said dryly.

 

Beside Nino, Adrien who was admiring the chalice in hand, looked up at them with slight apprehension. “That doesn’t sound very hygienic. Don’t do it, Marinette.”

 

“I wasn’t going to. Oh my god.” Marine pinched the bridge of her nose, wondering why rat sewers were even a part of their discussion. “Did you guys get anything good?”

 

Sharing a grin with Nino that meant nothing good, Adrien laughed. “Oh, did we?”

 

In answer, Nino raised a green bag with a llama stitching on it, which in Alya’s opinion, was the ugliest thing she’d ever seen – quite a feat to achieve considering the assortment of items she’d seen in the last hour.

 

“Marie Antoinette’s hand mirror, Titanic in a bottle, a magic spellbook, and this really cool bag.” Nino said, a self-satisfied smile hanging on his lips as he recited an inventory of their purchases. “What about you?”

 

Although she could go on and on about her reservations on the authenticity of any of the items Nino and Adrien had bought, she also doubted they would listen. “We had to pay for a snow globe Marinette dropped.”

 

“I already said I’d buy you something to make it up to you.” Marinette slumped her shoulders against Alya, blinking up at her in that way she knew her best friend couldn’t resist. “Choose anything you want.”

 

“Yeah, you should really get something before we leave.” Adrien agreed, handing over wads of cash to the vendor and stuffing the chalice in the llama bag.

 

“You know it’s too early for souvenir shopping, right?”

 

“Come on, Alya. Just pick something. I feel bad about making you deal with that grouchy old salesman.” Marinette insisted, dragging her to the table full of gold plated items in front of them.

 

The initial plan was to pick out the closest thing she could get her hands on so she could appease Marinette’s guilt and move on, when something on the far right corner caught her eye. “How about those?” She pointed at a pair of faux-pearl earrings, lips curling into a devilish smirk. “We don’t have friendship bracelets. Let’s get matching earrings instead.”

 

Marinette stiffened, hands instinctively flying to her earrings – her _miraculous_ , Alya now knew. “M-matching earrings…” Alya had to admit she found a bit of delight in watching Marinette squirm as she struggled to find an excuse. “But I-I already have earrings.”

 

“Well they’re not welded to your ears, aren’t they? You can just take them off. Here.” Alya said, reaching for one of the black stones on Marinette’s ear.

 

“No!” Marinette cried, taking a step back defensively and accidentally bumping into someone behind her. After a quick apology over her shoulder, Marinette turned to her friends to find three pairs of eyes sending her identical quizzical looks. “It’s…um…the earrings are an amulet to keep the bad spirits away and brings good luck. Old Chinese heirloom, you know.”

 

 _Yeah, I bet._ Although Alya had to admit that was one of Marinette’s more reasonable alibis. Besides, it wasn’t like she knew enough about Chinese traditions to express her suspicion.

 

“So it’s like a _lucky charm_?” Alya asked instead, testing to see just how many superhero references she could drop before her best friend cracked.

 

Marinette swallowed, running a hand through her locks to cover her ears from her friends’ curious looks. “Y-yes. I guess you could say that.”

 

“Oh, cool. Adrien has one of those too.” Nino jerked his thumb at him innocently.

 

_Well, this is going better than I expected._

 

“Does he really now?” There was no need for Alya to fake the bemused expression she was wearing as she turned to Adrien who was currently looking like a baby deer caught in glaring headlights.

 

The startled, slightly panicked look on his face was so much like Marinette’s that it took a great deal of effort for Alya not to burst into laughter right there. “What – oh yeah. My ring. I-it’s was _my mother’s_. The last thing I have of her.”

 

“Never seen him take it off.” Nino said, clapping Adrien’s back.

 

“Hmm. Interesting.” Alya nodded curiously, her gaze shifting from Adrien to Marinette looking for any sign of recognition or budding awareness, at the very least. “Isn’t that interesting that you’re both really attached to your jewelry?”

 

Adrien shrugged offhandedly. “Yeah I guess. But a lot of people are, you know? Jewelry is valuable after all.”

 

“Yeah, it’s totally normal thing.” Marinette said, brushing it off to dismiss the conversation and lead it as far away as she could from her miraculous. “But enough with that, so do you want me to get you the earrings or do you want something else?”

 

“Less oblivious friends.” Alya said under her breath, cursing her friends’ inability to put two and two together.

 

“What did you say?” Marinette blinked, still not catching wind of any of her thoughts.

 “I said we should get friendship bracelets.”

 

* * *

 

 

“I told you we needed all the help we can get.” Plagg smirked, strangely smug for someone whose plan hadn’t been working so far. “Admit it, Tikki. Say it. Say I’m right.”

 

“You were right, Plagg. There.” Tikki rolled her eyes. “They shouldn’t be left to their own devices but we haven’t had much progress either. And all this is doing is stressing Alya out.”

 

Alya sat over the toilet seat, watching with glassy eyes as the two kwamis bickered in front of her. Tikki was right, this trip was to be a way of unwinding for the four of them – one last hurrah before graduation – but it was doing the exact opposite to her.

 

“How do you two do this?” Alya lamented, massaging her temple as she felt the signs of an oncoming headache. “Sit by and just watch them dance around each other _for years_. I’ve only known for a day and it’s driving me _crazy_.”

 

“Talking about them behind their back helps.” Plagg quipped. “I’ll start. Those two are so dumb I don’t know how they’ve survived until now.”

 

“Plagg, _no._ ”

 

Alya couldn’t find it in herself to disagree despite Tikki’s protests. “I’d expect this from Adrien who’s still slow when it comes to picking up social cues even now. But _Marinette_?” She shook her head in disbelief. “For all the time she spends making heart eyes at Adrien, you would think she’d have an idea by now that he’s the same person she runs around with in spandex.”

 

“Well, people see what they want to see.” Tikki defended meekly.

 

“No, Tikki. They’re dum-dums.” Plagg flying to Alya’s shoulder, unmistakably pleased to have someone on his side. “Right, Alya?”

 

“Alya!” Marinette’s incessant knocking on the bathroom door interrupted them before Alya could answer. “Alya, are you done yet? I really need to pee.”

 

“Just a second!” She called out to Marinette, pressing the flush button to mask the sound of her talking to Tikki and Plagg. “I won’t let this trip end without them figuring this out, I swear it on my grave. Even if I have to take drastic measures, _I will do it_.”

 

Later that night, Marinette went on with her almost routinely appreciation of Adrien as she and Alya laid on their beds in a cheap motel room. Alya didn’t know how she missed it so many times before but now all her eyes were drawn to was Tikki, peeking out from Marinette’s leg and giving her an encouraging, albeit a little apologetic, smile.

 

It wasn’t that Alya minded listening to Marinette describe in detail how Adrien lights up when he smiles or how his laughter sounds like the music of the angels. In fact, she reveled in it – seeing her best friend happy and glowing and hopelessly in love.

 

But tonight, all she wanted to do was smother Marinette with a pillow for not noticing that Chat Noir had been giving her the exact same smile, sharing the exact same laugh with her as Ladybug for as long as she’d known him.

 

* * *

 

 

Alya didn’t have to watch the door to know the precise moment Adrien and Nino entered the diner. She could tell by the way Marinette, who had been languidly arguing the superiority of pancakes over flapjacks, suddenly straightened up in her seat and _bloomed._

 

“Good morning!” Adrien greeted them as he slid next to Marinette inside the booth, looking way too cheery at 9 o’clock in the morning.

 

Nino grunted in greeting, plopping beside Alya and letting out a long groan as he cracked his neck. “Did you get my text?”

 

“Yup, we ordered your mountain of pancakes.” Alya answered, watching Nino try to massage his own shoulders. “What’s wrong? Didn’t sleep well?”

 

“Oh, I _slept_ just fine,” Nino said, leering at Adrien who was suddenly very interested in the wood pattern of the table. “But then I woke up, and _someone_ had a death grip on me and was almost choking me to death.”

 

“I wasn’t trying to kill you.” Adrien pouted, slightly embarrassed and refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. “I’m a _cuddly_ sleeper, okay?”

 

“Okay. Word of warning: Adrien’s cuddles will leave you with sore muscles in the morning.” Nino grumbled.

 

“Wait a minute –-“ Marinette cut in, her brows slightly furrowed as she looked between Nino and Adrien. “You two slept on the same bed?”

 

“Well… Nino’s things were taking up all the space in his bed so he had to sleep in mine.” Adrien shrugged, looking at her like it was the most obvious solution.

 

“You know you could have put all of Nino’s nonsense on the floor, right?” Alya asked the boys whose eyes went wide upon the suggestion like the thought hadn’t occurred to them before.

 

“Yeah?” Nino wailed regrettably, making Alya felt equal parts pitiful and intrigued at their lack of forethought. “Where were you last night when Adrien was eating my hair and trying to choke all the air out of my lungs?”

 

The way that Marinette’s cheeks burned from across the table told Alya that her best friend most probably wouldn’t have minded being subjected to Adrien’s pain-in-the-neck cuddles.

 

“I think I’ll take cuddly sleepers over noisy sleep talkers.” Alya said, glancing at Marinette who sunk into her seat.

 

“Marinette talks in her sleep?” Adrien asked just as the waiter arrived with their breakfast, putting down plates of pancakes and cups of coffee in front of them. After giving the waiter a quick thanks, Adrien proceeded to douse his pancakes with a  ridiculous amount of syrup, taking advantage of the fact that there was no one around to regulate his sugar intake.

 

“Oh yeah, she’s always been like that.” Alya revealed to the table, ignoring the glare Marinette was sending in her direction. “Babbles about the most random things. Last night, she was going on and on about Chat Noir.”

 

_It was true. She didn’t even have to lie._

 

This bit of information seemed to fascinate Adrien, who was now looking at Marinette with the dorkiest smile Alya had ever seen. “Chat Noir, huh?” Adrien probed, stuffing his mouth in pancakes and not even trying to keep the smugness off of his face.

 

Marinette was slack-jawed as she stared at Alya. “I was _not_ talking about Chat Noir in my sleep.”

 

“Oh, right. Technically, you weren’t _talking_ about him. You were moaning and gasping his name in your sleep, along with some really explicit things that shouldn’t be discussed over breakfast at a family friendly environment.”

 

_Okay, so that wasn’t true. Marinette had been mumbling something like “Get down here, Chat” or “Not on the rooftops, Chat Noir” and maybe Alya was stretching it a bit but no one else needed to know that._

 

“Oooh.” Nino propped his chin on his hands and inclined his head to a red-faced Marinette. “You were having naughty dreams about Chat Noir?”

 

Adrien who had been enjoying his pancakes in relative peace, suddenly choked. The succession of loud coughing that followed made Marinette panic ever so slightly, as she patted his back and shoved a glass of water to his face.

 

“I was _not_ having naughty dreams about anyone.” Marinette hissed at Alya, although the expression on her face betrayed her hesitation.

 

“Oh, I beg to differ.” Alya arched her brow at her. “You were at it all night. Sounded like you and dream Chat Noir both had remarkable stamina. If you want I can play you a recording, I think I’ve got it somewhere…” Alya took out her phone, pretending to look for the non-existent evidence and hoping Marinette wouldn’t call her bluff.

 

“Why would you even record that? _No one_ needs to hear that.” Marinette groaned, burying her flushed face in her hands. ” Oh my God, Alya. Just let me die.”

 

“Hey, girl. I’m not judging. Besides,” Alya started, cautioning a look at Adrien who had finally regained control of his breathing. “I kinda see where you’re coming from. Chat Noir’s pretty hot.”

 

“I didn’t know _you_ were into Chat Noir.” Nino narrowed his eyes at her.

 

“ _I’m_ not. But you know, objectively speaking. I mean, that suit hardly hides anything.” Alya said, watching the Adrien’s blush go ten shades darker with every word. “That guy’s got a body anyone would want to get on. Plus, that mask only makes him even sexier, don’t you think?”

 

Nino stared into the distance as he mulled the thought over. “Huh, okay yeah, I guess I kinda see your point.”

 

“Marinette’s does too. He’s exactly her type. You know blond hair, green ey -- ow!” Alya felt something kick her shin under the table and saw Marinette glaring daggers at her.

 

“Can we please talk about something other than how hot Chat Noir is?” Adrien muttered, folding onto himself and trying to hide his shame behind a cup of coffee.

 

“Yes, anything but that, _please._ ” Marinette seconded, waving her hand in dismissal and diving right back into her plate.

 

“Oh ho ho, would you rather discuss how hot _Ladybug_ is?” Nino smirked at Adrien whose eyes went comically wide at the question. Beside him, Marinette had gone silent, her fork clattering against her plate as she tried to appear unfazed.

 

“What? Why would think - you know what? Never mind.” Adrien’s voice was coming out in a higher pitch than usual, and his face was very telling of how he would rather be anywhere else than here, having this conversation.

 

“Yeah dude, don’t think I haven’t noticed that you have the hots for Ladybug.”

 

“Oooh, Adrien’s got it bad for Ladybug?” Alya knew this already, of course. Adrien’s strange fascination with the superhero rivaled her own, although she had attributed it to a mere celebrity crush in the past. It was clear to her now though, that Adrien was actually head over heels in love with Ladybug, who he didn’t know currently sat beside him.

 

“Let’s just say Marinette’s not the only who’s had dirty dreams involving superheroes.” Nino winked at Alya as he took a sip of his coffee.

 

“Nino!” Adrien shrieked scandalously while Marinette froze and Alya was sure her best friend had stopped breathing at this point. “New idea! Let’s eat breakfast in silence not talk about dreams that may or may not have happened.”

 

“Does that mean I can’t tell them about the photos of Ladybug you keep hidden on your phone?”

 

“ ** _Nino!”_**

Taking a bite of her pancakes, Alya shared a satisfied smile with Nino while two of their friends retreated into their respective cages of humiliation. Already, Nino was proving to be valuable ally in this mission even though he knew nothing about its existence.

 

* * *

 

 

It was a well-known fact that Marinette was an animated person. She had a range of facial expressions that would put a French Mime to shame and a variety of wild hand gestures that seemed to be a permanent accompaniment to her spirited voice.

 

Fewer people knew that when Marinette felt really passionate or an overwhelming sense of adoration for something, she went still. Alya treasures that look of tranquility on her best friend even though she doesn’t get to see it often. It happens sometimes, when Marinette is watching Adrien, or when she’s working on one of her designs. Or now.

 

Marinette stood surrounded by beds of flowers in bloom, completely enamored by the splendor of it all. Occasionally, Alya would catch her mumbling something to her collar and laughing – something she had always thought was a nervous habit but now she knew was just her talking to Tikki.

 

“Marinette picked a good place, huh?” She didn’t hear Nino come up beside her, carrying a brown paper bag in his hands.

 

“Yeah, it’s really beautiful.” Alya breathed, surveying the _hortillonages_ in Amiens and finding her eyes drawn to the canoes drifting along the water channels. “Where’s Adrien?”

 

“Got recognized by a few collėge students while we were getting something to eat. Turned out they were _really_ big fans of his so he’s out there chatting with them, naturally.”

 

“ _Naturally_.” Alya chuckled, casting a side glance at Nino who was grinning back at her. “So…what kind of food do they have here?”

 

“All really fresh stuff. Very healthy. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten that much plant before.” Nino idly rubbed his belly. “Oh, I got you something.” Nino seemed to remember, taking out a wrap from his paper bag and handing it to Alya.

 

“If this is celery or eggplant, I’m gonna lob this at the back of your – _oh,_ ” Alya stopped as she tore out the wrap, and suddenly felt tears prickling her eyes at such a simple gesture. Keeping secrets must have been weighing on her more than she realized. “crêpes.”

 

“Not how your mom makes them. But I figured you could still use some comfort food.” Nino shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal even though Alya knew how thoughtful it really was.

 

“Thanks. This is…this is really nice.” Her lips wrinkle into a gentle smile, thinking about how Nino always managed to know just what she needed.

 

“Thought it might make you feel better.” Nino beamed back, and with the sun shining down on him just right, Alya thought he could easily be mistaken for an angel. “You’ve been stressing out since we left Paris. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

 

“Yeah, it did make me feel better.” Alya said, biting down on the crêpe and feeling a surplus of affection for her _friend_. “Thank you, Nino.”

 

“Nino! Alya!” They turned to see Adrien running towards them, practically bouncing on his feet when he came to a stop in front of them. “I heard we could ride the boats around the canals, do you wanna go? Please say you wanna go.”

“I wouldn’t say no to that.” Alya said through a mouthful of crêpes.

 

“Heck yeah, I’m down. Hey, Marinette!” Nino yelled at Marinette on the other side of the gardens. “Canoe race around the canal, you in?”

 

“I’m always up for a chance to kick your butts!” Marinette called back, holding up a thumbs-up sign.

 

“Great! I’ll go talk to the canoe guy. He made me sweet deal earlier.” Nino said, handing his paper bag over to Adrien before he went to find one of the park guides.

 

“So…” Adrien drawled, rocking back and forth on his heels with a goofy expression on his face. “Did I interrupt something between you and Nino earlier?”

 

“What could you have been interrupting?” Alya asked, although she knew very well what he was getting at.

 

“Oh, I don’t know.” Adrien said with nonchalance. “But if you’re ever in need of something, you know like advice or a wingman, just say the word, okay?”

 

“ _You?_ Really?” Alya raised her eyebrows at Adrien indignantly. “ _You_ are offering to fix my romantic problems when you can’t even sort out you and Marinette?”

 

“What about me and Marinette?” Adrien’s gaze automatically went to Marinette who must have sensed him looking at her because she gave him a small wave.

 

“Seriously?” Alya blew out a breath and shook her head. “You two are unbelievable.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Jesus, Marinette! Eyes on the road!”

 

“Sorry!”

 

Gripping the edge of her seat, Alya heaved a sigh as they narrowly avoided getting hit by an eight-wheeler truck all because Marinette was too busy making googly eyes at Adrien in the passenger’s seat.

 

“Marinette behind the wheel is like a roller coaster ride at the amusement park. _Paw_ sitively thrilling.” Adrien beamed at Marinette, making her stick her tongue out at him.

 

This odd and ironic loop of courtship that Marinette and Adrien seemed to be eternally stuck in was typically Alya’s source of entertainment and frustration alike. But now all it did was grate on her nerves.

 

(And maybe that had something to do with the fact that Adrien “Co-captain of the most oblivious clueless ship in France” Agreste had offered to wingman her relationship for her.)

 

It wasn’t like it had been the constant thought running through her mind in the last 24 hours. It wasn’t like she spent all of the previous night wondering what could have possibly made Adrien, of all people, think that she needed help resolving any relationships she may or may not be involved in. It wasn’t like that.

 

_(Okay, maybe it was, a little.)_

Because the way she saw it, she and Nino were friends. Sure, they’ve spent an awful lot of time together since Ladybug had locked them both in a cage at the zoo to keep them safe from the akuma attack. And if Alya was being honest with herself, maybe she had been harboring a little crush on Nino since that fateful day. And sometimes, he looks at her in that way, like she hung the moon or something, and she thinks maybe he might like her, too.

 

But that was beside the point. She had her blog. He had his music. They were both too occupied pursuing their field to work on actual relationship even if they did like each other. They had reasons for not being together, right?

 

Her eyes focused in front of her, watching as Adrien retrieved the camera and pointed the lens at Marinette, who puffed her cheeks and made faces at him. The sound of Adrien’s laughter filling the car was the equivalent of an ear-splitting scream to Alya.

 

“Your turn to pick.” Nino said in her ear, tapping her arm to hand the iPod over to her.

 

She couldn’t be sure what prompted it, but it was suddenly like she was having out-of-the-body experience. Alya could see herself sitting there in the backseat with Nino, huddled together as they shared earbuds and took turns picking songs to listen to. And she could see Adrien and Marinette in front of them, mooning at each other and risking their lives with Marinette’s less than stellar driving skills.

 

She felt her blood run cold upon a sudden realization.

 

“Oh my fucking God. **_No_**.” Alya’s breath hitched in her throat, unable to stop the rush of aggravation she felt at herself for not seeing this sooner.

 

Nino was staring at her, his mouth slightly open as he hesitantly held out the iPod to her. “What? You don’t want to ---“

 

“Marinette, stop the car.” Alya demanded. The need to do something was immediately eating at her.

 

All three of her friends were now looking at her with concern and bewilderment on their faces. Through the rearview mirror, Marinette was shooting her worried looks. “What? Alya, why ---“

 

“Marinette, for the love of god, just stop the freaking car. _I need to get out.”_

The urgency of her tone seemed to do the trick, because Marinette pulled over in an instant and twisted in her seat to see if there was anything wrong with her.

 

Alya grabbed Nino’s arm as she got out of the car. “You’re coming with me.” Before either Marinette or Adrien could get out of their seats, Alya shot them an icy glare. “And you two, stay where you are.”

 

It was dumb luck that they stopped in the middle of nowhere which meant that she didn’t have to worry about the judgmental stares from bystanders. She kept her iron grip on Nino’s wrist until they were far in the clearing, a reasonable distance from the where their friends sat inside the car.

 

“Uh… what’s going on? Are you going to kill me here?” Nino asked, barely concealing the dread in his voice. “Maybe we should stay within Adrien and Marinette’s line of sight, you know. Not for any particular reason…”

 

Letting go of her hold on his, Alya glowered at Nino who yelped and made a zipping motion with his mouth. She nearly collapsed when she fell to her knees and let out a _deafening scream._ She shrieked until her throat was raw and her nails were digging into the fabric of her jeans so hard that it hurt.

 

When she finally stopped, Nino’s eyes were wide as saucers as he watched her. He wasted no time dropping to a crouch beside her, undoubtedly trying not to freak out with her as his arms curled around her around her shoulders. “Are you oka ---“

 

Alya stopped him, holding on to his arm before he could move any closer. “I can’t do this anymore, Nino.” Alya blew out a tired breath. Seeing a flash of hurt cross Nino’s face, she added immediately, “Go out with me.”

 

“ _What_?”

 

“We can’t be like them, Nino. I’ve spending the last few days cursing _those two_ for being so stupid and refusing to address their lack of communication only to realize that I’m doing the same thing.” Alya rambled, half to herself and half to Nino. “We’re _not_ gonna be like that.”

 

“Alya, slow down,” Nino cut in, trying to calm her down and looking straight into her eyes.  “What are you talking about?”

 

Closing her eyes, she drew in a long breath. “I like you. I like you. And I hate that I waited so long to tell you but the point is I’m telling you now. I really _really_ like you. So will you go out with me?”

 

The declaration stumped Nino for a about minute as if he didn’t realize what Alya had just said or he didn’t quite believe it. But then he shook his head, blinking hard to clear his thoughts and began nodding ardently. “Yes, of course. _Yes_.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Yeah.” Nino said, his eyes gleaming when he looked at her. “I really really _really_ like you, too.”

 

In hindsight, Alya thought Nino might have been moving in to give her a hug but she was already grabbing him by his collar and pulling him down for the kiss. She felt Nino freeze for a second before she felt him smile against her lips and all she could do was sigh into the kiss because _finally._

_Finally_.

 

The years they waited seemed futile in comparison to the way his arms felt around her pulling her closer, and the steady beat of his heart under her palms. But because there was only so far their inexperience could take them, their glasses knocked over each other and they broke apart laughing.

 

Nino rested his forehead against hers. “Does this mean we get to do a lot of that now?”

 

Grinning at him, Alya raised a hand to his cheek, about to press another kiss to his lips when --

 

“Yeah! Go get it, Alya!” Adrien shouted from the car, leaning over Marinette who was also beaming at them.

 

Alya stopped short, sharing a look with Nino before she rolled her eyes and yelled back at their friends. “See how easy that was? Maybe you two should try it.”

 

Even from a distance, Alya could see how Marinette flushed pink and looked away, rolling the windows down and shrugging at Adrien like they both had no idea what meant.

 

Nino groaned in defeat, his head falling to Alya’s shoulder. “They’re never gonna get it.”

 

“No, they’re not.” Alya sighed miserably, already thinking of at least two long conversations she was going to be having involving kwamis and new boyfriends.  “Listen, there’s something I have to tell you.”

 

* * *

 

 

“This is a joke, right?” Nino said, taking of his glasses and rubbing the spot between his eyes. “I mean it would be really cool if this was true but please tell me this is a joke.”

 

Alya took a sip of her coffee, patting Nino’s hand consolingly as she remembered the head rush she felt upon the discovery. “I wish it was.”

 

After a conversation with Tikki and Plagg that took way shorter than she expected, the three of them have finally agreed to let Nino in on the secret. He was a trustworthy friend to both Adrien and Marinette, and at this point, enlisting his help seemed to be a good option seeing as they needed all the help they can get.

 

Nino took a deep breath, looking intently at the two kwamis who were sharing a slice of cheesecake Alya bought for them. “Shouldn’t you two be, I don’t know, staying out of sight?”

 

“You’d be surprised at how little people actually pay attention to others.” Plagg said, fitting an excessively large portion of cake into his mouth that Alya swears magic was involved there somehow. “We’re practically invisible over here.”

 

“On one hand, it’s like I want to jump out of joy and crush them in a hug because this is really awesome but on the other, it’s like I wanna run around and scream for hours because _wow._ ”

 

“It’s okay to be freaked out, Nino.” Tikki said soothingly. “Alya did too when she found out.”

 

“Okay, run this by me, again.” Nino nodded slowly, reprocessing the information bit by bit. “You’re telling me that the fate of Paris and its citizen’s rests on the hands of _that girl._ ” Nino pointed at Marinette, walking along the edge of a fountain while Adrien stood by and took photos of her, only to fall into the water with a yelp.

 

“Yep.”

 

“And her partner is _that guy_ over there.” Nino jerked his head at Adrien, who had put the camera aside and scrambled to help Marinette out of the water only to be accidentally pulled in.

 

“Also true. Yep.”

 

Nino and Alya watched their friends turn their heads frantically in search for them, until Marinette tapped Adrien’s shoulder and pointed in their direction. The two of them gave Nino and Alya a small wave and thumbs up just to let them know they’re okay.

 

“How are we not dead yet?” Nino said through his teeth as he waved back.

 

Alya shrugged, itching to take a picture of her friends completely drenched in fountain water like a couple of five-year olds. “To be fair, they’re really good at their job as superheroes.”

 

“Yeah, they’re really amazing.” Nino agreed, unable to hide the bout of pride he held for them.

 

“But really idiotic as civilians.” Plagg burped, peeking out from the side of the cheesecake to watch Adrien and Marinette climb out of the fountain and dry themselves off.

 

Tikki sighed, although even she couldn’t disagree. “We should probably go back. They must be looking for us by now.” Tikki bid Alya and Nino goodbye before taking Plagg by the tail and zipping away.

 

“Yeah, they --- _oh, hell_.” Nino gasped, turning to Alya as another realization suddenly struck. “They’re the reason you’ve been stressed out since Paris, aren’t they? That’s why you’ve been bringing up Ladybug and Chat Noir all the time?”

 

“Was I really that obvious?”

 

“Apparently not obvious enough for those two.”

 

“Nothing is obvious enough for them.” Alya threw her hands up in frustration. “All my efforts trying to get them to figure it out have gone to waste. This is why I need your help, Nino.”

 

“I didn’t think this is how we’d be spending our first date,” Nino was shaking head although Alya could tell he was also smiling. “Conspiring to get our friends together.”

 

“This isn’t our first date.” Alya said automatically, seeing Nino’s puzzlement she continued, “Um…panther cage? Ladybug locked us in? You shared your headphones with me? Any of that ring a bell?”

 

Eyes widening in horror, Nino groaned to himself as he pulled his cap down to cover his face. “Oh man, that’s not any better. I’m the worst date ever.”

 

“Not at all. It was kind of perfect, in a way.” Alya said as she leaned over to take Nino’s cap and put it over her head. “Hey, if you think about it, the reason we ended up there is because of Ladybug – because of _Marinette_. So this whole conspiring to get our friends together is our way of returning the favor.”

 

Nino cocked his head to the side to regard Alya. “You know… I like the way you think.”

 

“There’s a lot to like.” Alya winked at him. “So what do you say, are you with me?”

 

For Nino, doing this one thing to make Alya happy would also mean helping out two of his best friends – like hitting all the birds with one stone. It was a no-brainer. “Of course, I am.”

 

* * *

 

“ _Cabernet Franc_.” Adrien said after taking a sip of from his glass, looking at his friends with pleased smile on his face.

 

“Correct.” Alya read the label on the bottle, a little annoyed but not the least bit surprised to find that Adrien was right again. “That’s six for six. You’re too good at this.”

 

“The rich boy is a wine snob. Who’s surprised?” Nino stared flatly at Adrien.

 

“You’re the one who wanted to go here.” Marinette pointed out, barely touching her drink and seemingly content in watching the wine swirl around the glass.

 

“That’s because I thought there’d be beer in the cellar tour.” Nino sighed regretfully. “I didn’t think we’d be hearing Adrien list off the names of wines I can’t even spell.”

 

“I’m not even that good at it.” Adrien shook his head as he emptied his glass. “You just happened to pick the easy ones. Chlolee’s better at this than me.”

 

“You mean _Chloé_.” Alya corrected.

 

“Yes, _Chlolee_. What did I say?” Adrien looked at her with his brows furrowed in thought “It’s a really hard name to get.”

 

Nino’s eyes narrowed into slits, leaning across the table to get a better look at his best friend. “Dude, are you drunk?”

 

“I’m not drunk, I’ve only had like seven glasses.” Adrien said, holding up four fingers proudly.

 

“Oh honey, you are definitely drunk.” Alya chuckled, immediately shooting up and slamming her fist on the table as an idea formed in her head. “Which means, it’s time for us to catch up. This calls for a drinking game!”

 

“No. _Nononononononono._ **No _._** ” Marinette shook her head vehemently. “I don’t like your ideas.”

 

“You haven’t even heard them yet.” Alya pouted at Marinette.

 

“I don’t need to.” Marinette said dismissively. “I already know this would end with at least one of us passed out, naked, or arrested.”

 

“Fine.” Alya conceded, resting her chin on Nino’s shoulders to look up at her him. “We’ll let Nino decide what game to play. Nino?”

 

Nino observed as an intoxicated Adrien leaned heavily on Marinette, who was trying to the two of them upright by

 

“Okay, um…” Nino began, seeing Alya batting her eyelashes and keeping her lips pursed, communicating exactly just what she wanted him to say. Like it was a completely candid and malice-free thought, he said, “Let’s go around sharing our biggest secrets to each other.”

 

Alya pecked him on the cheek. “Perfect!”

 

“That’s not even a drinking game.” Marinette snorted at the same time, eyeing Nino and Alya warily while she tried to keep an intoxicated Adrien sitting upright.

 

“Sure, it is! Just drink before it’s your turn.”

 

“Yeah, Mari, drink.” Adrien said, holding up a glass to Marinette’s lips which she accepted because there was no known universe where Marinette could ever say no to Adrien.

 

“Who wants to go first? Okay, I’ll go.” Alya drank from her glass and clapped her hands together in excitement. “Don’t tell anyone… but I had the biggest crush on Chloé when I first saw her. Then she opened her mouth and I immediately wanted to smack her.”

 

Marinette scoffed, throwing chunk of cheese at Alya’s hair. “That’s not your biggest secret. You told me that within two weeks of meeting me.”

 

“I didn’t know that.” Adrien mumbled, looking at Alya with an amused smile.

 

“Nino doesn’t either. Marinette’s the only one who does because it’s _embarrassing_. And I can’t believe she would undermine the value of my secret when it took a lot to share it in the first place.” Alya fake sobbed against Nino’s shoulder, ignoring the cheese Marinette kept hurling in her direction.

 

“Cheater.” Marinette glared at Alya, turning to Nino instead.  “What about you, Nino?”

 

“Secret huh,” Nino hummed, his fingers tapping a beat as he gave it a thought. “I’ve got Justin Bieber’s full discography in my music library. But in my defense, his music has really improved in his latest album.”

 

“So he says but the most played song in his phone is still _Baby_.” Adrien said as he raised his glass before taking another drink, making Nino groan in his seat. “No shame in that, dude.”

 

“Okay, I think we should be cutting you off.” Marinette took the glass out Adrien’s hands and set it on the other side of the table, determined to ignore the wounded puppy look he was giving her.

 

“What about you, Marinette?” Adrien drawled sloppily. “We want to know the secrets of Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

 

“M-me? I don’t, uh, I mean --” Marinette stammered, glancing around her helplessly.

 

Of course, three out of four people in that table knew two of Marinette’s biggest secrets even if two of them were keeping mum and pretending to be none the wiser. It was the one who was most concerned in said secrets that remained tragically clueless.

 

“Adrien,” Alya paused to hiccup. “I think Mari has a secret or two to share with- _hic_ -a secret to share with _you_ , specifically.”

 

Tilting his head to Marinette, Adrien focused all his attention on her like he was waiting for her to reveal the nuclear codes.

“N-no, I don’t!” Marinette squeaked, her cheeks the color of crimson as she pushed Adrien’s face away from hers. “Sorry, I don’t have any secrets. Your turn.”

 

Adrien squinted his eyes as he racked his brain. “I guess I don’t really have secrets either.”

 

Nino and Alya shared a look. _What a surprise, the two most secretive people in this group apparently have no secrets to hide._

 

“Aside from the astronomical crush on Ladybug?” Nino asked dryly.

 

“That’s not a secret anymore since you exposed me.” Adrien grunted. “Betrayed by my own best bud.”

 

Alya extracted herself from Nino’s shoulder, resting her chin on her palm to regard Adrien and Marinette. “Oh, come on. That wasn’t a secret to begin with. You were so obvious about it. You and Marinette must have something you haven’t told anyone.”

 

“Like, tell us why you both keep ditching class with the worst excuses? Do you guys leave just to hang out without us?” Nino added. “Tell us, we won’t be mad.”

 

“I-I uh, um…” Marinette was looking anywhere but them now.

 

“Okay, I’ll tell you where I go.” Adrien said, beckoning them closer with his finger as his voice dropped to a whisper. Nino could feel Alya’s knee eagerly bumping his under the table. “I’m always gone because …” Adrien burped and laughed heartily. “Cheese.”

 

“ _Cheese_?”

 

Adrien gave a single nod before passing out and falling onto Marinette’s lap unceremoniously. Marinette patted his cheek to wake him and called out to him gently, but to no avail. Adrien was completely out of commission.

 

“Yep.” Alya commented at the scene as she took a sip from her glass. “That looks about right.”

 

Nino sighed in resignation, dropping a kiss on the top of Alya’s head before he stood up and walked to Adrien’s side. “I’ll carry him to our room.”

 

* * *

 

 

“How can they still not realize after this?” Alya growled, glaring at the roll of photographs she was clutching in her hands. “This is Ladybug and Chat Noir I’m looking at, isn’t it?”

 

They had found an arcade tucked away in Reims, and despite initial protests from Alya (because she was well aware of how her friends get around video games) they had gone in for an hour to blow their money on claw machines and shooting games. This meant that none of them were in the position to deny Alya’s request to take pictures at one of those retro photobooths where they provided costumes and props for use.

 

Upon spotting ( _hah)_ the admittedly poorly made Ladybug and Chat Noir costumes and discovering that their popularity outside of Paris, Alya gave a victorious cry and shoved the clothing to Marinette and Adrien respectively.

 

There were lips pursed and gazes averted from Adrien and Marinette as they put on their costumes, but no shred of recognition upon seeing each other in a cheap imitation of their supersuits.  Alya didn’t think they could get any more blind as she watched their interaction in that small space.

 

Now all she was left with a photograph to serve as proof that her friends were total airheads and she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to crumple it and throw it at their heads or rip it to shreds. Although, the image of Nino as a pirate and herself as a Mad Hatter made her reconsider.

 

“Have you considered letting this run its course? Letting them figure it out on their own?” Nino asked, plucking the photo from her hands and tucking it in his pocket, effectively saving it from its demise.

 

Alya made a face at him like he just suggested licking the gum stuck on the bottom of his boot. “ _Let them figure it out themselves, Alya. Have faith in your friends, Alya._ God, you sound just like Tikki.”

 

“All I’m saying is, maybe the reason why they haven’t figured it out by now is they don’t want to.” Nino offered, looking at Marinette and Adrien who were too preoccupied with a shooting game to pay attention to them. “Besides, what’s so wrong with them not knowing?”

 

“That’s is so _not_ the spirit, Nino.” Alya stomped feet, the fire in her eyes downright terrifying. “They have to _know._ I would sooner lock them up in a room and send an akuma right there than let this trip end without them discovering the truth.”

 

“You know I’m usually with you,” Nino started, because there was no doubt in his mind that Alya wasn’t making empty threats with what she just said. “But I don’t really think that’s a good idea. Promise me you won’t do that.”

 

Alya considered it for a long moment before giving in. “Fine. We’ll need a new plan, then. Think. What would make them believe that it’s actually Ladybug and Chat Noir in front of them?”

 

“I don’t know. What made _you_ believe they were Ladybug and Chat Noir?” Nino asked her.

 

She was about to answer when all of the metaphorical light bulbs hovering above her head lit up - a plan was beginning to form in her mind, one that would present irrefutable proof to Adrien and Marinette of each other’s identities.

 

“Nino, you’re a genius.” Alya cheered, launching herself at Nino to plant a quick kiss on his lips. “See, this is why I’m dating you.”

 

“That’s sweet, babe, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Nino smiled at Alya, wrapping her up in a hug.

 

“I’ve got an idea. But first, we gotta go get Tikki and Plagg.”

 

* * *

 

 

When Alya came back to their room that night after ditching Marinette for a whole day, she found best friend rummaging through her bag amidst a mess of blankets and pillows strewn all over this floor.

 

“Um…what are you doing?” Alya asked as she closed the door behind her. In all likelihood, she knew Marinette was looking for Tikki, who had spent the better part of the day with her and Nino, scheming and wanting to be away from all the obliviousness.

 

Marinette who had been too busy to notice hear her arrival before, breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her. “You’re back! Oh, I-I was looking for my towel!”

 

Alya eyed the pink towel on the bed embroidered with Marinette’s initials.

 

Following the line of her gaze, Marinette’s eyes widened, snatching the towel right off of the bed. “There it is! What would I do without you?”

 

“Yeah, I don’t know either.” Alya mumbled to herself. “Hey, listen. Since this is our last night here before we go back to Paris tomorrow, Nino and I thought maybe we’d spend the night together –“ Upon seeing, the wide cheshire grin on Marinette’s face, Alya quickly added, “Nothing like that, Marinette, jeez. We’re just gonna make out until we’re tired and cuddle ourselves to sleep.”

 

“Sure you are.” Marinette winked at her, tucking the towel under her arm as she put all the pillows and blankets back on the bed. “But fine, I guess if you really want to be with Nino, I’m okay with –“ Marinette froze.

 

_Here it comes._

 

“Wait a minute.” Marinette slowly turned to Alya. “If you’re gonna be with Nino that means you’re leaving me here with…” Marinette threw a pillow at Alya.

 

“ _Ow!_ Marinette! What? It’s not like you’re gonna be sharing a bed. Why are you so scared of catching Adrien cooties?”

 

“Oh, I’m the opposite of catching Adrien cooties, you know that!” Marinette bellowed, crawling into the and burying her face a pillow to scream. After a few seconds, she looked up at Alya pleadingly. “Alya, I can’t be alone in a room with him all night. There’s only so much I can take before I burst into flames.”

 

“You’re a big girl, Marinette. I’m sure you can do it.”

 

“If you leave me here with Adrien, I’m gonna die.”

 

“Then I’ll take care of your funeral arrangements.” Alya smiled at her just as the sound of knocking came from the door. “Whoops, looks like it’s too late to say no.”

 

“Hey, guys!” Adrien greeted them as he entered the room, already in his pajamas. “Nino kicked me out of our room. Said you were gonna be sleeping there, I think. I ran out of the room screaming before he could start getting into the specific details.”

 

“Yep, I am.” Alya threw the pillow back at Marinette who was busy mouthing colorful curse words at her. “Guess I should be going now.”

 

“Good night, Alya!” Adrien waved at her, flopping on his bed for the night while Marinette bid her goodbye through intelligible grunts.

 

When she was at the door, Alya turned back, wiping the conniving smirk off her face before she called out to them, “Oh, right. Almost forgot. Nino and I found your toys.”

 

“What toys?” Marinette asked, looking up from her pillow.

 

Alya had to suppress the laughter forming at the back of her throat as she retrieved something from inside her jacket. “Here,” she said holding out her hand, where Tikki and Plagg laid still as statues. “We found them at the arcade earlier. They’re yours, right? I saw you guys playing with them before.”

 

If Alya could have one wish, she would have used it to record that moment so she could look back on it and replay it for as long as she lived. She wasn’t sure the best part was - the quick dive Marinette made for Tikki or Adrien’s slack-jacked expression, like a fish out of water, as he stared at Plagg.

 

She thought she could have made a map of every emotion that crossed Adrien and Marinette’s faces. The relief at finding their kwamis who had been missing for hours, the confusion as they found another unfamiliar yet similar creature next to it, and the horrified realization as they recognized what it meant.

 

“Really cute.” Alya commented, deciding to push it a little further. “Are they a set?”

 

Adrien gulped as he reached for Plagg, casting glances at Marinette who was now openly gaping at him. “Y-yeah. They are.”

 

“Well, there you go. Don’t lose them again.” Alya smiled sweetly at them, turning on her heels. “Have a good night, guys!”

 

Alya was practically skipping as she made her way out of the room, barely keeping in her laughter as the door closed behind her.

 

_3…2…1…_

 

**“ _Holy shit!”_**

The simultaneous exclamation came from the other side of the door, followed by a succession of high pitched screams and screeching voices from Adrien and Marinette. It sounded like music to Alya’s ears.

 

With an accomplished smile on her face, Alya leaned against the door and sighed. _Yep, she was going to be having a good night’s sleep._

 

* * *

 

 

“I really think we should leave them alone for now.”

 

“Hush, Nino. You might wake them up.” Alya whisper-yelled as she tiptoed by the entrance to the room, careful not to make too much noise.

 

Upon opening the door, she was met with the sight of their friends sleeping together on the same bed in a tangled heap. Adrien had his arms around Marinette’s waist, his face buried on her stomach while Marinette’s hand ran on Adrien’s hair as she softly mumbled something that sounded awfully like _chaton._

 

On the bedside table were two kwamis, also curled up in one another, finally getting the peaceful slumber they deserved after so many years.

 

“Oh, thank god it worked.” Nino exhaled, next to her. “Happy now?”

 

“Yeah, let me just…” Alya said, taking out her phone to snap a few shots of their sleeping friends. This was going to good material for future use, maybe for blackmail or maybe for embarrassing wedding speeches. Alya beamed at Nino, standing on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. “Happy now.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> SHOUT OUT TO CAT FOR BEING AN OVERALL LOVELY PERSON, FOR BETA'ING, FOR THE NONSTOP NONSENSE EXCHANGES, AND FOR KEEPING ME SANE AND MOTIVATED ENOUGH TO FINISH THIS <3
> 
> (1) almond trees are apprently a symbol of love so ya know  
> (2) although I did my research for this fic, I'm not French nor have I ever been to France so I hope you'll forgive me if I got some things wrong in this fic  
> (3) i might have forgotten to add a place alya /picked/ but girl got what she wanted anyway so there are no losers here (only me)
> 
> please leave comments because the author is needy


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